I've almost completely abandoned Xanga so I need to come back!
I’m pretty sad today. I didn’t think yesterdays rehash was going to be painful but today I’m feeling it. I had to talk a little about something that I guess I haven’t analyzed and explain for a while so I guess that kind of got me.
This sucks because I had an eventful day of mental health happenings. At least I can still watch it on tv and report back to you all on it.
I may try and write more about other issues until I can wrap my head around talking about my head again. That could be tonight! Who knows!?
Stupid bad moments wreck everything. There’s nothing I hate more than the sad moments of where you just feel moderately desperate but really calm. When you feel like your body just gave up and you can’t help but think, “why am I here?” I would rather have the big explosion right now, get it over with.
I just got back from my first counselling session at Planned Parenthood Toronto (PPT). So far so good, I’m very excited! I’ll be going biweekly for a year.
The first session is always that rehash that I’m sure many of you are familiar with. You break out into the same story you’ve told all professionals before. Your family, you childhood, your suicide attempts, your coping, traumas blah blah blah. That’s what we did and as usual I do it with a smile because years of retelling this stuff has made me not care about it.
My social worker, J, is very into art therapy so her and I should get a long great! She told me that she’s getting the equipment for sandplay therapy (sandplaycanada.ca) so we could try that in the summer! J also does colleges, which I love, so we are going to do some of that too! I’ve never done something hands on like this in counselling so I’m up for the experience!
At my request she’s also giving me a referral to the psychiatrist that comes to PPT once a month so I can possibly get in there during the summer and find out if I’ve changed enough to be deemed mentally healthy, if I’m something else, or if I’m the same. I guess regardless I’m going to carry on as I always do!
We ended with my counselling goals:
Make the angry moments in my life less intense
Stop cutting completely and develop more positive coping strategies
I’m hoping that this time around will be my best effort into counselling yet!
I graduate with a 4 year Bachelor of Social Work (BSW) almost a year ago from Ryerson University. I applied for my Masters of Social Work (MSW) at Ryerson University and York University but did not get in due to a perceived lack of experience.
I've been working since finishing school and it's be great. The problem I'm running into is the jobs that I want I need something I don't have and that is a degree related to working with children such as Child & Youth Care (CYC) or Early Childhood Education (ECE). I was venting about this issue to Michael because I love working with children but the current jobs that I can apply for are not long term. I may have experience with children but the fancy degree is what people want these days. Michael suggested that I go for a masters related to ECE. I said that it probably didn't exist because ECE is generally a college level program and it was very strange of Ryerson to offer ECE at the undergraduate level. I WAS WRONG!!!!
I already have an idea for a Major Paper: how parents with mental health issues raise children. I would want to look at the issues these parents face, issues faced by children, supports available, stereotypes of mentally ill parents, effects of stigma on children, fears of to-be parents with mental health issues, being a mentally ill parent(s) and raising a child with mental health issues etc I can link my own lived experience and combine two things that I like, mental health and kids!
The big question is....HOW DO I PAY FOR THIS!?!?!?!?
All the blogging I do these days is on my mental health blog (www.prideinmadness.wordpress.com)
So what can I update on??? Hmmmmmm
I have two interviews coming up for summer employment. Two different summer camps. One with the City of Toronto and the other with Great Big Theatre Company.
I bought a Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook to try and get my emotions further under control. I had a few bad cutting episodes and realized in my "right" mind that I really need the cutting and huge angry outbursts to stop. They're hurting me.
My mental health research group, The Madvocates, are doing a workshop for an LGBT group which is really awesome! Any chance we have to share our experiences and knowledge is great!
Michael's sister had her first child, a little girl, named Sophie! She's adorable! Michael went back to visit over Easter and is now sick :(
I'm reading Game of Thrones and so far really enjoying it! I really like the series and I've heard great things about the books!
My union almost went on strike but luckily a deal was worked out!
Yesterday and today I was a cut and colour demo for a friend of mine and one of her fellow apprentices at Fiorio! I had my first professional customized hair colouring and a great cut for free since they are learning! It was great to see that everyone else that worked there was supportive and helpful!
@ZBinks - going to school in Canada? Yes born and raised Canadian! I used to want to write professionally but I went down a different path but try to keep it going so i don't lose the ability! what kind of stuff do you want to write?
@kaybaby666 - It's also hard cause you don't much about xanga...but since I am trying to be a writer of sorts I keep it around as much as I can...are you going to school up there? I might have read something bout it but forgot...:)
You seemed like an interesting person to talk with, so I have added you as a friend, though I am not sure exactly how this shit works since I'm usually on facebook...I don't usually post often, but I got to reading random profiles for the hell of it and came cross yours....:)
Hi Kristen. U r most charming, most beautiful. Let a thpusand triliion flowers bloom for u daily. Let a trillon beautiful birds sing a trillon beautiful songs for U. Pl b my friend. I M Ashok Masters in Maths.Management/Bachelor in Education. My E mail firstname.lastname@example.org mobile 091-98914536